My father had big dreams and loved sports. He played college football until his sophomore year for Michigan State, then he quit. He moved to Texas and met my mom when he was in his late twenties. My mom already had two daughters from a previous marriage, but he fell in love with her and fell hard.
He travelled all the time with a great paying sells job during the week and came home on the weekends. His mode of operation was alone time to read the newspaper. My dad could read 2 to 3 papers a day. He lived on the highlights of football and sports. He loved classic films and hummed all day long.
My mom divorced my dad when I was 6 months old. My brother and I saw him a couple weeks out of the summer growing up, but we struggled to know him. We didn’t know how much he battled addiction. His addiction to over the counter drugs would eventually get the best of him. He quit trying to overcome and get help one hot Texas summer after he had lost his paper route and was living in a drug house with no food or electricity.
My brother called me and asked if I wanted to come and help him make a transition. I made a few calls to a Teen Challenge in Midland, Texas and they were willing to help him. We pulled up to the house my dad was staying at, he was sitting in a chair on the front porch because of no air conditioning. We were able to take him out to eat, and over a plate of enchiladas my brother and I helped my dad cross the line of faith.
Our first step toward healing our heart from an absent father, or in my case an addicted father is, FORGIVENESS. Our ability to forgive those who have hurt us deeply restores back to us joy and peace. I have had to walk the road of forgiveness with my dad. I have had to give my heart away to him, only to have him disappoint me again.
RELEASE THE HURT TO GOD EVERY DAY.
Hurting people, hurt people. Something was hurt in my father at a young age that nobody but God could fix. I released him of the responsibility of making my joy complete. When I quit holding my dad accountable for how my life was going to turn out, I broke free. I had more peace when I began to see my father for who he was and how he was trying his best in the only way he knew how. He was broken in so many ways, I needed to remove my expectation off of Him and on to God for my complete healing.
COVERED BY GOD
My future laid in the hands of God to heal my heart, not in my earthly father’s. God became my covering. Where I felt laid bare and exposed in my life, God began to cover me. I asked God for the healing of the hurtful words and the rejection. God not only honored my request, but he sent me a husband that would continue to love me to wholeness.
3 Ways a Father can Cover His Daughters.
1) A father that seeks God with His whole heart brings a covering to his daughters.
“You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.” Jeremiah 29:13
2) A father that seeks restoration from God has the ability to speak restoration into his daughters. This God covering that father’s bring has the ability to straighten out a rebellious heart in a tender and true way.
“Instead of your shame you will receive a double portion, and instead of disgrace you will rejoice in your inheritance. And so you will inherit a double portion in your land, and everlasting joy will be yours.” Isaiah 61:7
3) A father who brings a Godly covering to his home has the power to walk in peace and brings a humble confidence to all his family. All the restoration lies in the father’s ability to seek his creator above everything else.
“I, even I, am He who blots out your transgressions for my own sake; and i will not remember your sins."
It was now God’s responsibility to help me, not my father’s. I shifted my focus from what my father could give me, “to how could I pray for my father?”
I may never see a total restoration of my father on this side of heaven, but I have determined in my heart to believe the best about him. I call out memories that are good and tell those to grow. The power is in the praying for the broken. It heals us. It restores back to us our joy. It takes the expectation off the wounded and put’s it on God to bring the healing.