The enemy lost his battle and his control the moment my mother surrendered. Living almost 50 years in the slavery of sin, we all felt that this newfound faith in Jesus Christ was not going to be easy. We found opposition almost immediately. Things in our life did not change rapidly it was a process. We had so much to discover.
My salvation came with a fight. I remember the moment as if it were yesterday. I had decided to stay home one Friday night and not go out with my friends. My mom was at work late and my sister Rachael was at her shop. My brother was at a friends, so the house was empty. I was sitting in my room on my bed and I began to feel a strong feeling of sadness.
I immediately began to have thoughts like,
“You are never going to make it in life.”
“Who do you think you are?”
“What if people find out about your abuse?”
“People are going to make fun of you at school if you read your bible?”
“You can’t change who you are Regan, something is wrong with you?”
I remember my mom talking to me about spiritual warfare and the devil. After reading, Battlefield of the mind, I was convinced that this was the enemy. The oppression felt so strong on me. I was gripped with fear.
This was the first time I understood that the enemy was using my past against me to forge confusion in my mind, so I could not see a path to freedom.
I immediately began to think thoughts that where horrible about myself. The enemy spoke intently to my weaknesses. This is what he does.
I literally felt my body shake as I cried. I felt anxious, but above all else I felt condemned and accused. As if everything in my life was my fault.
I called my mom hysterically crying. My sister answered her phone at her shop. I told her to get mom on the phone, I needed to talk with her. She asked me if I was okay, I said no.
My mom got on the phone and told me to calm down. I told my mom all the thoughts that I was thinking and how I felt so discouraged and sad. What my mom did next changed everything. The hope she offered me shifted the atmosphere and calmed my spirit.
She rebuked the enemy on the phone with me. She told me that she was interceding in prayer for my salvation. The enemy was pulling out all the stops he had and did not want to lose me. My mom came home and took me on a drive. I’ll never forget this drive, cruising in her white thunderbird with the sunroof down, listening to Point of Grace. I laugh now, but this was my moment.
My mom walked me through the salvation prayer and told me that there was nothing ever that I could do, as long as I trust Jesus that would cause Him not to love me. She told me that GOD never accuses, he never lies and He only thinks the best thoughts about us. She told me to be reminded that the enemy does not know our future. He doesn’t know how or what we will choose, but that he does know the end of the bible and, he looses. He does know his time is short and he wants to take as many people with him as he can.
She told me to never give up trusting in God. God was never going to give up on me. He loved me and He was proud of me. This was the beginning of the rest of my life. This was my TRANSFORMATION MOMENT.
I'm here to tell you, you can be restored and made new too. Don't give up! God isn't hiding from you and he isn't punishing you. He made you and loves you. Don't believe the enemies lies any longer. Run to Jesus right now and give him your pain, rejection and all your disappointments.
I love how the woman at the well, left her jar that she would have drawn water from after talking with Jesus and RAN to her city to tell everyone to come and meet the messaiah, the son of God who restored her. "Then leaving her water jar, the woman went back to the tow and said to the people, "Come, see the man who told me everything I ever did. Could this be the messiah?" John 4:28 NIV
He is a restoring God and the hope you have is not just for you, it's for others. Live in freedom and go and offer your freedom to those who are suffering. You can do it. You were made for more.