Restoration Story

My Story Part TWO

Redemption

“So the woman left her water jar and went away into town and said to the people, “Come, see a man who told me all that I ever did. Can this be the Christ?” John 4:28 NIV

My mom is a real modern day woman at the well. The moment she said yes to Jesus, restoration began and the result of her redemption has changed so many lives. (Read about the Samaritan woman in John 4: 4-16)

Going home to my mom not drinking and reading her bible was a definitely my first sign of a miracle. I was so hesitant to trust the God she had found. I was a little confused about where God had been my whole life. My mom was radically changed and  she began to live her faith out in front of us. All of us kids were a little apprehensive of the change. It was drastic and real and raw. She had ups and downs and still would drink a beer every now and then. She was laying down years of hard liquor so this was more than progress, this was change. She was committed to her healing and search for hope.  Everyday she went to work and instead of pouring her wild turkey into her pink, little glass, she poured coffee. She used to make her clients specialty liquor drinks, and instead she started making fun coffee drinks.

She began to use her little shop after hours to do bible studies with her clients. One book that made a significant impact on my life right away was Joyce Meyer’s, ‘Battlefield of the Mind.’ Oh man, this book was medicine to my ill thinking, my rejection and father wounds. If anyone had broken down the process of renewing your mind, it was Joyce. I really and truly do not believe I would be where I am today without vital books like Battlefield of the Mind to go along with my everyday bible reading.

When you have lived so many years with brokenness, the only way out is through embracing the pain, seeing it for what it is and giving it to God. Joyce’s book illustrates that this is a war you can win, even though it may be a battle you constantly fight. I found hope in Joyce’s words, and understanding that what we were facing was a real enemy and that he was defeated, we just needed to OVERCOME him by rebuking him.

Joyce says in her book, “The devil will give up when he sees that you are not going to give in.”

Get your copy of Joyce Meyer's Book, Battlefield of the Mind right here!

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The enemy lost his battle and his control the moment my mother surrendered. Living almost 50 years in the slavery of sin, we all felt that this newfound faith in Jesus Christ was not going to be easy. We found opposition almost immediately. Things in our life did not change rapidly it was a process. We had so much to discover.

My Moment

My salvation came with a fight. I remember the moment as if it were yesterday. I had decided to stay home one Friday night and not go out with my friends. My mom was at work late and my sister Rachael was at her shop. My brother was at a friends, so the house was empty. I was sitting in my room on my bed and I began to feel a strong feeling of sadness.

The Lies

I immediately began to have thoughts like,

“You are never going to make it in life.”

“Who do you think you are?”

“What if people find out about your abuse?”

“People are going to make fun of you at school if you read your bible?”

“You can’t change who you are Regan, something is wrong with you?”

I remember my mom talking to me about spiritual warfare and the devil. After reading, Battlefield of the mind, I was convinced that this was the enemy. The oppression felt so strong on me. I was gripped with fear.

This was the first time I understood that the enemy was using my past against me to forge confusion in my mind, so I could not see a path to freedom.

I immediately began to think thoughts that where horrible about myself. The enemy spoke intently to my weaknesses. This is what he does.

I literally felt my body shake as I cried. I felt anxious, but above all else I felt condemned and accused. As if everything in my life was my fault.

I called my mom hysterically crying. My sister answered her phone at her shop. I told her to get mom on the phone,  I needed to talk with her. She asked me if I was okay, I said no.

My mom got on the phone and told me to calm down. I told my mom all the thoughts that I was thinking and how I felt so discouraged and sad. What my mom did next changed everything. The hope she offered me shifted the atmosphere and calmed my spirit.

She rebuked the enemy on the phone with me. She told me that she was interceding in prayer for my salvation. The enemy was pulling out all the stops he had and did not want to lose me. My mom came home and took me on a drive. I’ll never forget this drive, cruising in her white thunderbird with the sunroof down, listening to Point of Grace. I laugh now, but this was my moment.

My mom walked me through the salvation prayer and told me that there was nothing ever that I could do, as long as I trust Jesus that would cause Him not to love me. She told me that GOD never accuses, he never lies and He only thinks the best thoughts about us. She told me to be reminded that the enemy does not know our future. He doesn’t know how or what we will choose, but that he does know the end of the bible and, he looses. He does know his time is short and he wants to take as many people with him as he can.

She told me to never give up trusting in God. God was never going to give up on me.  He loved me and He was proud of me. This was the beginning of the rest of my life. This was my TRANSFORMATION MOMENT. 

I'm here to tell you, you can be restored and made new too. Don't give up! God isn't hiding from you and he isn't punishing you. He made you and loves you. Don't believe the enemies lies any longer. Run to Jesus right now and give him your pain, rejection and all your disappointments. 

I love how the woman at the well, left her jar that she would have drawn water from after talking with Jesus and RAN to her city to tell everyone to come and meet the messaiah, the son of God who restored her. "Then leaving her water jar, the woman went back to the tow and said to the people, "Come, see the man who told me everything I ever did. Could this be the messiah?" John 4:28 NIV

He is a restoring God and the hope you have is not just for you, it's for others. Live in freedom and go and offer your freedom to those who are suffering. You can do it. You were made for more.

 

 

 

 

 

 

My Story Part ONE

RESTORATION// The action of returning something to a former place, or condition.

I remember the day well, it was a defining moment in my life, but it did not DEFINE me. I was a freshman in High School and the youngest of four kids. We were raised by a single mom, who was on the heels of her 5th failed marriage. I have two older sisters from a different father and my  brother and me have the same dad.

            My mom owned a little nail salon where she was a manicurist in a small town outside of Ft. Worth called Haltom City. She had other employees that rented rooms from her; a massage therapist, esthetician, and tanning room. This is how she put food on the table and a roof over our head. Everyday I would get a ride to her shop in order to help her. I would clean the tanning bed for her and answer the phones for her if she needed to run to the store. This particular day instead of going to her shop I went home, as I walked through the door the phone rang.

I answered it and one of my mom’s clients was in a panic and asked me if I had seen my mom. I told her no, because I had come straight home instead of going to her shop. This client that I was talking to had known my mom for a couple years. She had been coming to my mom to get her nails done and often spent late nights drinking with her. Her concern for my mom had me convinced that I needed to head up to her shop.

This was not the first time we had to call 911 concerning someone in my family. We had the police at our house several times because of my mom’s boyfriends or other situations. 

I hung up the phone and immediately called my oldest sister to see if we could both go to the shop. When we arrived the doors were locked. My mom had owned her own business for years. The only way she made money was to keep her doors open because she took walk-ins. I knew in my heart something wasn’t right.

My mom started drinking at a very young age. She drank to wake up in the morning and drank to go to sleep. She kept a little pink glass of tequila right beside her on her desk all day long while she worked on her client’s nails. My mom drank to ease the pain. If we were to drill down into the reservoir of the ache my mom felt, we would find her need for true love. 

 In the front of my mom’s shop was a huge window and painted on it in bright colors was my mom’s prices for nails and the number for clients to call and make an appointment. I peaked through the glass and on the desk I could see a letter written on a piece of paper in black marker.

My mom always left us notes. We were at home a lot by ourselves because she worked long hours. She would write us notes in order to communicate to us.

The Note...

This note said, “I’m sorry I have disappointed you. I love each of you very much. ______ (husband's name) I’m sorry I couldn’t be everything you wanted me to be. Love mom”

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Reading that note felt like eternity, I was so scared. I began to hit the glass, and yell, “MOM, MOM, open the DOOR NOW!!”

After about 5 minutes of trying to get my mom’s attention, but no response my sister and I called the police.

 The guy in the letter, was my mom’s 5th husband. Let me tell you, out of all the men that came through our front door he had to have been the worse.  I think in some ways she had met her match. He used her, and was constantly making her sad or upset. Usually the tables were reversed. My mom was never okay with not being in control, but this was only because she was constantly choosing men who were insecure and immature. She did not understand her value or worth, so she was always choosing men who didn’t either. It was a vicious cycle of heartbreak after heartbreak.

The police arrived and moved my sister and I out of the way and got a crow bar and began to break open the door. I pushed my way through the police and began to run down the hall.

I ran down the hallway of her shop and around every corner I wasn’t sure what I was going to find. I rounded the last corner to find my mom sitting on the floor with an empty bottle of wild turkey and small pistol. My mom had drunk herself into a deep pit that day. She couldn’t hear or see us, though her eyes were open, she sat there in silence and unaware. I was so unbelievably sad that day, my mom had never tried to give up. She had been dealt a lot of hurt in her life as well as had a lot of blessing, but the pain of her decisions had brought her to her lowest moment. She had reached her pit and wanted to give up.

We called the ambulance and the paramedics assisted my mom on to a stretcher. She didn’t move a muscle. She was paralyzed with pain and confusion. The small glimmer of hope my mom had was gone from her in that moment. She had allowed the weight and pressures of life to sink her.

As the ambulance drove off, my heart sank. What little stability I had was rolled away and taken to the 7th floor of John Peter Smith Hospital in Ft. Worth.

After my mom was taken to the hospital, my sister and I stayed behind and closed up her shop. My mamaw came and picked me up and took me to the family lake house. I remember sitting on the deck with my feet in the water and feeling really depleted. I had really had enough of the chaos and was ready for something to change. I was contemplating not going back home and staying and living with my mamaw and papaw and finishing school with them. Honestly, I felt really scared about the future. I had already lost touch with my dad, but loosing my mom felt like a real blow to the gut. A couple days passed and my mom called the lake house and asked for me.

Restoration Begins...

My mom began to tell me that she had an amazing encounter with a doctor at the hospital and he asked if she had a bible or went to church. We didn’t own a bible to my knowledge growing up. I never saw my mom reading her bible. She began to tell me that God was helping her. She came home from the hospital and got in touch with a pastor who had a bible and she had been reading it. She had been praying and asking God to help her. I was very intrigued, but skeptical too. 

When I hung up the phone from having the conversation with my mom, I actually felt a little change already happening. I wanted my mom to get better and I wanted to see her do it. I began to believe her and decided to come home and find out more of what she was talking about. Even though I was reluctant to totally believe any of it would last, I was hopeful that something was going to change.

God does not want to leave us hopeless. He did not create us to live lives that are full of sadness and hate. Life brings sorrow, but God is not the author of the sorrow. If you are experiencing a parent that is struggling with hopelessness, I want you to know that God has not left you. Your parents broken marriage is not your fault. You are not the reason anyone left. Whatever your circumstance, God sees you. He wants to encourage you and fill you with life. After that phone call with my mom I walked out to the dock on the lake and sat down. My whole story was about to change and God was going to begin the process of bringing order and healing to my life. I believe God wants to do that for you too.  It was going to take a miracle from God to change our lives and my mom’s life, but God was working that out.  A miracle was in motion.